What It’s Like To Be Me

What is it like to be a woman in construction? I get asked this question ALL THE TIME.

When people ask me what I do for a living, I can't say that I'm a general contractor. Why? Because when I say I'm a general contractor, they look at me with a blank stare and say, "What?" Like it doesn't register. They don't get it. It doesn't make sense. What they see in front of them doesn't line up with the words, "general contractor."

When I'm on a job site and one of my trades is there that I haven't met before, they ask me if I'm the designer. Or the homeowner. Or someone's wife.

When I call new subcontractors to talk about projects I'd like to hire them for, I'm sometimes met with a super long explanation about what they do, why or why not they can't help me, and a peppering of questions about my business: "wait, who are you again?" Like they think I'm the secretary for some dude's construction company.

Have I been asked out by subcontractors that I've met. Yes. More times than I care to admit.

Have I lost work I've bid on because I refused to go out with the guy who makes decisions? Yes.

Have male clients talked over me, cut me off and doubted my intelligence? Absolutely.

Have male clients said things to me that they wouldn't have said to another general who was a man? Yessir.

Have I been gawked at, mistreated, talked down to, dismissed, inappropriately propositioned? Yes, yes and yes. Yes infinity.

So, how do I cope? I just keep moving. I don't have time for some asshat to make my life difficult. I've got enough problems. Someone mistreats me? I move on. Someone insults me in one form or another? I move on. I JUST. KEEP. GOING. Sometimes that means walking away from money. Sometimes it means keeping my composure in the heat of the moment and being the adult. Sometimes it means silencing my voice for fear of retaliation.

Now let's not get it twisted: I have had some wonderful men come into my professional life. The crews that I call upon to work on my job sites treat me with the utmost respect. Fortunately, most of these guys have been with me from day 1 and their professionalism, performance and quality are what keep me hiring them over and over again.

So, what's it like to be me? I'm not gonna lie, some days are hard. I wasn't born into this profession. I spent most of my adult life in aerospace. But the process is the same, regardless of the industry. I learn something new every single day; each job is different, with different challenges and issues. Sometimes I feel like I don't measure up. Sometimes I feel like a dude could do it better because he's been slinging a hammer since he was 6. But I'll be damned if I'm going to give up. I excel in the areas of communication and organization, and these are the things that make me unique and a tremendous asset to my clients. I multitask like a motherfucker, and that's my edge. When my clients learn about the value I bring to them through the way I manage my business, there's a shift in their minds about how things should be done and that's my entire purpose in this profession. I plan to continue fighting to be seen and heard as a real voice in this community and I'll get there. I only hope more women will join me on the quest.