The Resolution Delusion

Seventeen days into the New Year and again, like every year, I am convinced that resolutions are harmful and here’s why:

Often, those of us who make resolutions are already people who are doing too much. Already we are over-worked, stressed and so busy that we can’t make time for ourselves. But we yearn to make time for ourselves; we want so badly to lose the weight, to quit drinking, to exercise more, to sleep more and to eat better. But if we already can’t make those things happen, how does turning the calendar to January 1 make any difference?

Don’t get me wrong, I think that having lofty goals is a good thing…to a degree. But I think many of us are too sporty in our goals and it ultimately leads to failure. And I think it’s mainly because we lack awareness of our current situation and overestimate our ability to manage our lives.

If we had the time/resources/desire to accomplish our “goals,” we’d be doing it already. So the problem is not with setting the goals themselves or wanting to be “better.” The problem is not being prepared to tackle those goals.

I’ve learned all too well that you cannot pour from an empty cup. You also can’t effectively start a new diet, exercise 5 days a week, sleep 8 hours a night and drink 1000 ounces of water while working full-time, coaching your kid’s team, volunteering and maintaining a household. You are setting yourself up to FAIL. And I be this isn’t the first time.

So what needs to change? How will you ever lose 20 pounds or workout all week? You’ll need to quit….some things.

This life is about optimization; we are here to learn lessons that make us better. Taking stock in what serves you and what no longer serves you in the key to making room in your life for all the thigs you truly desire. You cannot do it all, nor should you. You need to become stingy with your time; you need to say no; you need to take the nap, call your friend, get the massage. You need to be relaxed and ready so you can prepare and SUCCEED.

Preparation is key to success in anything, really. And I don’t know about you, but the week between Christmas and New Year’s, when most of us make our big New Year’s Resolutions, is a blur of bloat, physical and mental exhaustion and overall confusion. When you’re in a state of delusion how can you make smart, thought-out plans for the upcoming year? That’s a lot of pressure.

So my advice is to not wait until the New Year to start your goals. Start when you a) have time and b) are prepared. Make sure you can handle all the changes you want to make with your current life and make adjustments to accommodate the new things. Goals are good; but being unprepared sets you up to fail. Thank you for joining my TED Talk.