Dating Today…And Other Depressing Things
As some of you know, I'm spearheading a social movement called The Offline Movement. Its purpose is to get people to start interacting and connecting with real people in real life. It's all about moving offline and fostering real relationships.
For those of us who have been fortunate enough to participate in online dating, we know first-hand how badly something like this is needed. But why? Apps allow us to encounter literally thousands of people we would never meet otherwise. Shouldn't our odds of meeting people be greater? Shouldn't these apps provide us with the opportunity to connect and create relationships? In theory, yes. Yes it should. But in practice, it's a whole other ballgame.
Technology, my friends, is ruining us. It is estimated that 7 out of 10 Americans use some form of social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.). We spend hours upon hours each day perusing social media sites where we get our news, advertisements and photos of the perfect lives of our friends, relatives and people we don't know. We order food, hail cabs, bank and date from a device we hold in our hands. We're texting our loved ones, emailing our coworkers and Tweeting snarky quips to get a rise out of our followers (who we don't know personally). It's fucked up, y'all. .
I can't help but feel like technology and apps are replacing humans and that in the end, our society is and will continue to suffer. I already feel the disconnect in my own personal relationships; we stay in touch by liking a photo on Instagram or commenting on a Facebook post. Text messages are the medium of choice and at best they’re truncated with emoji’s and acronyms. Sure, it’s easy to text. It’s also easy to call but no one ever does! I often wonder if I stop reaching out to my friends, will they even notice? Will they even care? As long as my social media presence is strong enough to give them a photo to “like,” is that enough for them? Does liking my posts make my friends feel connected to me in a way that ultimately relieves them of being a human presence in my life? It’s an interesting concept to ponder. Makes my head hurt.
And online dating is really no different: we use “likes” and “matches” to stroke our egos and waste our time when we’re bored or lonely. We connect with perfectly decent people via text, but rarely meet in person because we get our immediate needs fulfilled by apps just enough so that we don't need a human. Has the subtly of just enough "fake" attention taken our innate desire to connect with other humans away?
So that’s it, friends. I’m seriously concerned about our future as a species. Do me a favor and dial a phone number today. Call someone and say hi. Look someone in the eye as you open the door for them. Wave to your neighbor. Meet up with your friends for a drink. Just get out there and put your phone away.